It used to be that, whenever film and television
drama required a drunk, the casting director
reached for a copy of Equity's Scottish directory.
Somehow the part of the belligerent, alcoholic
down-and-out was never quite complete without
a broad Glaswegian accent. The words "typing"
and "stereo" spring to mind (though not necessarily
in that order).
This may well have been bad news for our national
image, but it was certainly good news for a
generation of Scottish actors if, for no other
reason, than it kept them in regular employment
well beyond their official sell-by date.
Sometimes it was even worse. Because sometimes,
in the absence of a Scots actor, they'd get
an Englishman or an Irishman to play the whisky-swilling
fool in a cod "See-you-Jimmy" voice.
But that was then. The good news is that times
have changed. In these days of political correctness,
the drunken bum has become an equal opportunity
role and can just as easily be portrayed by
a Scouser, a Geordie, a Yorkshireman, or even
an upper-class Home Counties toff.
The bad news is that, apparently, those crafty
casting directors have found another use for
Scotland's thespian community.
If a public rant which started on Radio Clyde's
Breakfast With Bowie show is anything
to go by, then Scots viewers are becoming increasingly
annoyed at the way we're being portrayed on
the television screen these days. Now it's not
the drink that's the problem; it's our violent
and psychopathic behaviour.
According to the programme's producer, Sara
Prockter, the station has been bombarded with
calls bemoaning the fact that members of our
mild-mannered acting fraternity are fast becoming
ubiquitous as the token baddies in TV dramas.
"It all started when one of our listeners phoned
in to complain about the way Scottish people
were being played in soaps these days. And it
just started the ball rolling. We've been getting
loads of emails and text messages," she says.
"They've been on about Scots in EastEnders
and in Brookside. And every time
a Scots actor appears in The Bill
you say to yourself 'Well, that'll be our villain
this week,'" she adds.
George Bowie, the programme's presenter, says:
"I hadn't really thought about it until the
subject was brought up, but it's true. And it
seems to have struck a real chord with our audience.
I can't remember when we had a greater response
to anything."
The listeners' blue touch paper appears to
have been lit by a particularly nasty character
called Trevor, a psycho barman and habitual
wifebeater from EastEnders (played
by Alex Ferns). But is he really just the latest
in an ever-lengthening list of villains from
the north side of Hadrian's Wall?
Well, apart from the notable exceptions of
Gerard Kelly (who was famously cast against
type as a gang leader in Brookside)
and Forbes Masson (who played a child-molesting
teacher for a while in EastEnders)
you'd be hard pressed to think of any other
Scottish villains fit to hiss in TV's soaps.
And as for The Bill? Well, surely
any over-subscription in the Scottish villains'
department is offset by the constant presence
of that cuddly Glaswegian, DC Lennox.
To be honest, you'd have to rack your brains
to put a kilt on any memorable telly bad guys,
whether soap or straight drama, of recent years.
You really have to go back to the days of The
Sweeney in the seventies to find a series
which regularly featured Scottish hardmen (usually
alighting from the InterCity overnight sleeper
at Euston, sawn-off shotgun in their grip, to
carry out a swift bank job before heading back
on the 17.15 to Glasgow).
You disagree? Fine, but consider the list of
Scotland's leading actors. Sean Connery? Never
played a real baddie in his puff (though he
did come perilously close as the stressed-out
detective in Sidney Lumet's The Offence).
The same goes for Ewan McGregor. Robert Carlyle?
Okay, there was Begbie in Trainspotting
and the follically challenged terrorist Renard
in The World Is Not Enough, but
those were just two examples from a long and
distinguished list of acting credits.
Billy Connolly then? Brilliant as the nasty
piece of gangster work in The Debt Collector
but more familiar, surely, for his portrayal
of the widowed Queen Victoria's main squeeze
in Mrs Brown.
Dougray Scott? Granted, a villain in Mission
Impossible 2 (and an even better one
in the Wales-set thriller Twin Town)
but much better known these days as a big screen
hero.
I could go on. Robbie Coltrane, John Hannah,
Dougie Henshall, Peter Mullan, James Cosmo .
. . all of them great actors, but not exactly
renowned as major, heavy-duty bad guys.
Ah, you might say, you haven't yet mentioned
David Hayman. Now there's a man, surely, who's
not averse to a spot of on-screen villainy.
Sorry but, all things considered, wrong. There
was, of course, his brilliant portrayal of Larry
Winters in 1989's Silent Scream.
But after that, you're struggling to present
a track record of bad-guy roles.
Hayman, by the way, agrees that the list of
Scottish telly baddies is a very short one.
"Apart from Gerard Kelly in Brookside and the
new guy in EastEnders, I don't think I can recall
any off the top of my head," he says.
In terms of movies, he goes on: "The thing
is that rarely do you get any actors actually
playing Scottish roles in big films. So, inevitably,
you get even fewer Scottish villains.
"I suppose that, rather than bad guys, the
public perception of Scots is as tough guys.
A lot of that has to do with the Glaswegian
accent. It's like the character I played in
Lynda La Plante's Trial and Retribution
series and, I suspect, Alex Norton's new detective
character in Taggart. They're
not bad, they're just tough."
Hayman is 100% correct. Scots actors do hard-but-fair
particularly well. From television, the late
Mark McManus was the perfect example as Taggart
and John Hannah, as Rebus, is
keeping the flame alive.
But playing the mean man? Scots actors should
be so lucky. Their English counterparts, stars
such as Jonathan Pryce, Tim Roth, Gary Oldman,
and Alan Rickman, are helping to keep British
Airways (barely) afloat by regularly shuttling
between London and Los Angeles to play villains
in Hollywood blockbusters. But only perhaps
Brian Cox - a splendid villain when he sets
his mind to it (he was the original Hannibal
Lecter, after all) - is carrying the saltire
for Scotland across the Atlantic.
Still, let's end with two examples of genuine,
24-carat Scottish bad guys which may, with the
passage of time, just have escaped your memory.
First, Angus Lennie as the wee chef in Crossroads
(though in his case it was the performance rather
than the character which was criminal).
And second, Iain Cuthbertson as Charlie Endell
in Budgie. Now there was a bad
guy so good that he's up there at the top of
the TV villains' list.
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